原题 I'm black, my academic interest is in China, my boyfriend is Chinese. The most racism I've ever faced in my life has been from Chinese people... Why?
Hi. This may sound whiny... I've asked the same questions of my Chinese and Vietnamese friends, though I'm sure they are much less honest because of our friendship. I came here because I'd certainly like honest answers and maybe the anonymity of Reddit will give me that.
So I'm majoring in history and essentially Chinese studies in college. Multiple Chinese professors/ other Chinese students have made comments that they might have seen as nice, but were actually blatantly hurtful or racist. One professor wrote a very nice recommendation and ended it with Rescuerabbit 123 is one of the best African-American students I've taught. The implication clearly being that African-American students are different from other students and must only be compared with each other.... this is at least how I see it. One of my good friends said in all serious, "You speak Chinese very well. That's really good considering most black people can barely speak English."
My boyfriend is Chinese, mostly because we connect on academic interests and on an emotional level, but also I admit it might be because of my subconscious interest in both his home country's culture and history. His mother has said blatantly racist things about me to him and doesn't want me dating him because of both my class and race. She has told him that I'm only at our college because of affirmative action, asked him how he can find people like me attractive, alluded to the fact that I was aggressive because I'm black. His father likes me but on multiple occasions has commented on how other black people are lazy, stupid, or destroying America.
This makes me seriously want to reconsider my major, my interests, often times my feelings for my Chinese friends. I have on many occasions experienced colorblind racism from white or even other black friends, but never such blatant, unapologetic disdain or racism toward blacks. I just want to know why. TL; DR I've faced a lot of blatant racism from Chinese people, moreso than from any other group, why is this?
这使我认真想重新考虑我的专业，我的兴趣，很多时候我的感情，我的中国朋友。我已多次经历肤色种族主义从白人甚至其他黑人朋友，但从来没有这样赤裸裸的，毫无歉意不屑或种族主义对黑人。我只是想知道为什么。 TL DR（？？）我从中国人面临着很多公然的种族主义，比其他地方更多，这是为什么？
[–]ZiggyZombie 30 分/分 1 年 ago
I will tell a story that may help, may not. My co-teacher/friend asked to explain why there is discrimination and racism against Blacks in America. I said, "well I imagine it's similar to the reason they are discriminated against in China." She replied, "No, there is no discrimination in China." I just starred at her. "If I found a black American," I said, "who had been teaching English for 5 years, and had a masters in education, would our boss hire him?" She said, "Well no, but not because of discrimination, because the parents would not want there kids being taught by a black person." "... That's basically the definition of discrimination."
I think a lot of it comes from pure ignorance. They just don't know anything about another culture, and have all these crazy asumptions and steryotypes that they pick up from... fucking god knows where. If you cannot speak Chinese/they cannot speak English, all they have is that stereotype.
[–]amarcord 8 分/分 1 年 ago
China operates in a state of de facto apartheid (concentration of almost all wealth, and power within the communist party hierarchy) with its 50+ minorities and still nobody seems to notice or discuss discrimination within the system.
[–]Kooglemoore 5 分/分 1 年 ago
Yeah let's not even get started on the Tibetans, Uighurs, and Mongolians. This thread would go on all night.
[–]bluelovin 6 分/分 1 年 ago
Sorry to pester, but I'm very interested in this. What type of discrimination do Tibetans, Uighurs, and Mongolians face in China? If you please.
抱歉打扰，但我对此很感兴趣。XZ人，畏兀儿人 蒙人 在中国遭遇什么类型的歧视？知道的话请说吧。
[–]sasha_says 8 分/分 1 年 ago
I'll assume this is a serious question and give a short reply. The Tibetans, Uighurs and most of the other minorities tend to live on the western outskirts of the country, generally desert or mountainous conditions. The Tibetans religious leader is persecuted and his successor has "disappeared." The government encourages Han (the majority) to move to these locations and "dilute" the local culture and ethnic population via schooling, intermarriage etc.
[–]mjot_007 33 分/分 1 年 ago
You're situation is pretty much my life right now. I'm black, my boyfriend is Chinese and his parents (mostly mother) are very racist. The mom tries to convince my boyfriend (who I live with) that we should break up because she is too ashamed of our relationship to see anyone she knows. She says that his dad's illness is his fault because the stress of his son dating a black girl was too much. These are just 2 recent examples of the crazy shit she says and thinks. I've dated another Chinese guy who's parents accused me of stealing money from (nevermind that I had a job and he didn't) so it is actually pretty prevalent. In my experience Asians are one of the most racist groups of people I've ever encountered. I don't have a lot of advice as I'm still dealing with it myself. But my advice would be to branch out to some of his extended family. Some of my boyfriend's aunts and cousins have met me and while they don't approve of me, it's not because of racism, it's because they dislike the tension in the family. So it's more like they don't like the whole situation but they do like me a bit. Starting with other family members can go a long way towards finding some family support and can help influence the mom and dad into at least keeping their mouths shut around you as the rest of the family just wants to get over it. It's still stressful and it does put some strain into my life, even though none of it is my fault. But remembering that I have the support of my boyfriend, and some approval from extended family can help a lot.
I hope you find this helpful!
[–]rescuerabbit123[S] 12 分/分 1 年 ago（楼主）
Dude... hugs. I'm sorry. His mom is getting bad but hasn't accused me of that much shit. Also I think Chinese moms bluff hardcore. My SO is just like fine disown me now, which she will never do because he's the good son, so she hates it but backs down a little.
[–]mjot_007 5 分/分 1 年 ago
Yeah my situation is a bit different cuz the mom has a long(untreated) history of mental illness as well, and she's always kind of hated my SO but he's the oldest son so tradition comes into play. Are your SO's parents immigrants from China or were they born in your country? Part of my way of dealing with this is remembering that his parents are from China instead of the US and that means they will be more extreme in how they act. But if they were from the US I don't think there could be any excuse for their behavior.
[–]rescuerabbit123[S] 8 分/分 1 年 ago（楼主）
Dad is Cantonese, born out of country and is more accepting. Mom is 2nd generation American, can barely speak Chinese... yea.